that's an acceptable place to lick
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
