The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize