wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize