you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
