A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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