u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
