using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
