YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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