does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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