it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
