I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize