please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
