i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
