haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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