That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
