For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
