Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
