Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
