Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
