He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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