She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize