It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
