How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
