Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
