so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
