we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
