i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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