I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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