You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
