...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
