Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
