How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
