i wish my penis had a tongue
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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