i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
