He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
