Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
