She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
