This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
