guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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