your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
