she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Panties = found
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
