so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize