we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
