Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
