The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize