just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
