when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
