i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
