this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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