the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
