Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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