Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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