You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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