i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
