I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
