STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
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For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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