I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
