I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
