You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You're my little dorito
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
